Finally Home
Category A: Highly Commended (2024) Monash Short Story Writing Competition
Author: Moukthika Balaganesh
Water. We never stop to think what it means to us. Water has always been my safe place, my home. A place where I was guarded from the outside world and all its imperfections and flaws. As a child, the feel of the cold ocean enveloping my body, holding me in earnest when I float was mind-numbingly peaceful. The sound of crystalline water trickling around me was music to my ears. The glassy blue of waves as it lapped up to the shore and retreated again was my only constant when it felt like the world around me was in turmoil.
Yet, how ironic was it, that the place you felt your strongest and safest would eventually be where you were reduced to your weakest? What should have been any other morning at the beach rapidly transformed into my worst fear.
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A strong wave of water hurtles over me, its strength pulling me under and dragging the breath out of my lungs. I struggle valiantly as my arms flounder around with no leverage to be found. As panic fills my mind, I scramble for a purchase that does not exist. The ocean swirls around me, crushing me, and I am reminded of its true power. After what seems like an eternity, my head bobs above the surface and euphoria fills me. However, the hope that I might live to see another day is mercilessly snatched from me when I once again drift down into the terrifying blue void the ocean is.
Soon my arms fall to my side like lead, exhausted from the ceaseless movement to bring myself above the ocean. As water seeps through my mouth filling my lungs it feels like each minute stretches painfully to the next. Gut-wrenching, torturous minutes encompassed under a layer of terror and misery. Chilly water fills my lungs, piercing my heart. I thrash against the invisible prison that holds me captive in the ocean. A slight shimmer of sunlight shines from above the surface of the water as though teasing me, mocking me for my vulnerability and weakness.
Tears saltier than the ocean leak from my eyes and streak down my cheeks, falling and becoming one with the cavernous blue that engulfs me. My lungs beg and beg for oxygen, and I struggle to keep my eyes open, not surrendering to the black that begins to creep into my vision. After agonising moments of futile attempts to survive, I finally give into the darkness that no longer seems so scary, and let the ocean take me.
I feel my consciousness slowly begin to slip from me, and my body begins to relax. As my heart beats for the last time, I couldn’t help but feel like I was going home. It was like the ocean was welcoming me back with open arms and a warm embrace.
A soft smile graces my lips, as my soul lifts to the heavens and my body is dragged under once and for all.