LILIAN: Starting school/kindergarten

There are so many ‘firsts’ in a child’s life, and in a parent’s life too. Starting kindergarten, childcare, playgroups and school are among the most significant, and for many, among the most memorable.

Lilian, Youth Librarian at Mount Waverley Library, remembers her mum walking away from her on her first day of school and thinking, where are you going? What are you doing?

From her own personal experiences as well as the years spent working with families in our libraries, Lilian has a strong understanding of what children and parents go through when anticipating their first day of kindergarten or school, and how story books can make a real difference.

“I’ve helped lots of families with this topic,” explains Lilian. “I try to help put them at ease because I understand that it’s an anxious time for children, and that it’s a milestone that continues through life with new schools, new jobs. This is just the first one.”

“It can be just as nervous a time for parents as it is for children.”

The first day of kindergarten or school might loom over young children, but help is at hand.

“Children are responsive to books. The stories about starting school make their experience seem less isolated,” Lilian explains. “The story books can help to calm children to a degree and encourage them to have positive feelings. The characters in these stories mirror a lot of what the children are thinking and feeling and in the end they will see there is always a positive outcome.”

Normalising the experience of ‘first days’ through story books can have ongoing benefits.

“Characters become a springboard or reference point for the conversation when it needs to be had again. Children have someone they can relate to and feel encouraged by.”

Lilian holds up The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson and smiles. “This little kid looks at his reflection in the water and thinks he is all alone, but he builds on his bravery, and there are nice outcomes,” she says. “And the book shows culturally diverse children throughout, so chances are it’s even more relatable.”

Hugless Douglas Goes To Little School by David Melling is clearly a favourite as Lilian turns each page, cheered and energised by the big, lovable bear.

“He’s this big lovable character who doesn’t know his own strength,” she laughs. “He’s a beautiful character who doesn’t fit in straight away, but uses his differences to find his place.”

Going to Big School by Laura Sieveking is a more lengthy story that shows the different feelings that children might have, demystifies what happens at school, and shows the process of making friends and settling in.

“This book is great. It shows that the feelings a child has aren’t static, that they bounce around the core issue and can take time to identify what they are really afraid of,” she explains.  “But this book takes readers on a journey that ends with the willingness to go back the next day.”

The same benefits are found in I Don’t Want to Go to School by Stephanie Blake, which also explores the fear of starting school, but that the outcome can be great.

First Day by Andrew Daddo takes a slightly different approach by showing that the parent can be just as nervous as the child, maybe more so!

Full of energy for the story and its fun twist, Lilian also empathises with the mum character. “It’s great how the story explores different ways to manage nerves, but it also implies that children may pick up on the nerves of the parent, and that children may actually already have the skills to navigate the challenge – and their parent’s nerves!”

Lilian reflects, “It’s just as emotional for parents when you have been protecting your children for so many years, and off they go.”

Younger children may anticipate their first day of childcare, playgroup or kindergarten less, but it’s by no means any less significant a step. I’m Not Ready by Jonathan Allen is a story for younger children who are aware of the big step they are taking.

The child in the story makes lots of excuses and stalls in every way possible, but avoids the problem by pretending they aren’t nervous at all.

“This book explores avoidance behaviour and shows how younger children might take time to realise they are not feeling ready to leave their mum or dad. It helps them unpack their feelings,” Lilian explains. “But once the character sees what playgroup offers, he embraced it because the reality was different.”

“Picture books and stories can definitely help children take those big steps,” says Lilian. “Parents can read them at times of calm or at times of angst, the benefits are there.”

“Parents want to reassure their children that they will find their way. Books definitely help by showing the complete process, so children can see what the outcome might be for them too. The experience is less scary if you know how it might end!”

“I remember my own fears, about fitting in, and other hang ups,” recalls Lilian. “Now I really enjoy helping parents and children on their own journeys.”

All our Youth Librarians have expertise around books that assist families with life’s challenges. You can ask for assistance at any branch, contact them online, or search our catalogue.

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